Arrived in a sunny Calgary with clear blue skies and bitterly cold today! Long difficult bus trip yesterday – my hat is off to our driver and to all professional drivers (including 2 of my sons) who keep going in this weather.
I haven’t added a post for months, I realize that… It’s been a long and hard summer – a bit like the journey yesterday. I’m still very unsure of where we are and what we’ve achieved… Another story. For me, as in so much I’ve done over the last 2 years, personal challenge is my quest, and it’s highlighted, for me, by this story.
I saw this video – click on the pictures – which came close on the heels of 4 consecutive clients, all adult versions of the opposite of this child’s experience, whose gifts were not nurtured, and I wanted to share it. I want to encourage everyone to:
a) parent consciously. You can never take this honour too seriously – and
b) it’s never too late to start to re-parent yourself
If you have a moment… I dedicate this video to all my slightly geeky (different) friends! I mean it in the nicest sense – and I include me as a geek! Geeks need as much reassurance as anyone else – even though others may ‘see’ confidence or talent in us, geeks are often unsure of themselves. Everyone needs to ‘belong’ and to be appreciated as well as to be loved and geeks are as full of doubt as anyone. So much easier (and not) to be a jock or Ms Socially Fun. Geeks’ gifts are often not recognized because they’re ‘a love of math’ or ‘an affinity with computer code’ or a love of reading ‘serious’ (boring to many) books etc.
I think one of the most difficult things is to recognize what the gift is? We all have one, that’s for sure. Often it’s really hard to see what it would be and certainly it’s not always as obvious as having a child who sings like an angel. That’s our job, as parents: to find the gift. So that we can nurture it and give our children success. Sometimes it’s pretty much impossible but as parents we must keep looking. We must find an area where they can excel and where they can experience acceptance and applause. It was the fashion for a while for teachers just to pay lip service to how good a child was but I think kids are smart: we have to find something our children are really good at. That’s the key to their success and we can’t fool them.
This little girl could be any of us at that age… Look at her little sigh and the ‘catch’ of her chest as the applause starts. She just wants to be ‘good’ and ‘valuable’ – just like her brother. Listen to her interview: she wants to do well, if not at singing then at sports.
What an amazing gift – and how delighted she was to have the accolade and applause at the end.
I believe all humans are precious – although children are often cuter?! Each child is precious. Beautiful. Listening to this clip was pure pleasure and I thank you for a special moment for me, Amira.
We are all so fragile… We need to cherish every day, with ourselves and those we love. Especially with our children. As parents we can so easily sell or children short or, worse still, wound them for years to come. Let them be the very best they can be – it’s as easy as that. Every day.
What a fabulous example Amira Willighagen is. The clip behind the picture to the left is shorter but if you have time, the whole audition is behind the photo to the right, together with some questions for her too. This video is, for me, wonderful in itself, a joy to listen to.
It also speaks eloquently to me, for every child and for ‘all of us’ because to be accepted- without judgment – is so ‘up’ for me right now. Our children bring all kinds of things to this world and they are crying out for acceptance. How can that be so hard to give? Is it not part of love and just wonderful?
Sometimes they are drawn to and do things that are not ‘usual’ for their age… So what? That in itself is a ridiculous judgement. What is ‘usual’? This morning I saw the amazing art of a young man who makes sculptures and art in the foam on cups of latte. We really do need to open ourselves and look around us: the unusual is usual. Our world is more amazing than I can ever fully realize. I will never tire of it!
Accept all of our children. Love them. Nurture them and encourage them, at every turn. I agree that as parents we should stay away – as far away as possible – from pushing them to achieve our dreams. After all, that would be about us, not them? Of course there are some parents who actively hurt and verbally abuse their children and a good teacher, school counsellor or coach could save the day there. Or that child just may have to re-parent later…
We have to allow them, let them, encourage them to excellence because excellence will bring them accolades and applause and acceptance and from there, the sky is their limit.
If we weren’t lucky enough to have quite the right level of encouragement for us (and everyone’s level of sensitivity is unique) when we were little, you may have to re-parent yourself, now? PD (personal development) can be tailored exactly to fit your time and preferences – click here. Find out what you need to soar and put those gifts in your path.
There’s also a strong connection between the psyche and the body and not only is to work on personal development a way to get – and give – the very most you can expect from life, I believe it is also the way to good health. Read about GNM here.
With love, Julie