Is what I’m feeling a ghost-feeling or just a powerful, reaction-causing habit from the past? Are they the same thing? (Ghost-feelings cause all kinds of trouble…)
Something about not being able to do a blog every week really bothers me? I put constant pressure on myself to ‘do more’, ‘be efficient’ or be ‘on time’. This pressure drives me nuts! It’s a habit and I wonder just how powerful is habit? And how strong of a reaction can it cause? And based on what I’ve been observing, can ghost feelings be autonomous of our conscious thought and control?
I wonder if these ghost-feelings or powerful reaction-causing habits are also what keep people in ‘hanging healing’ in chronic ‘disease’ in GNM terms? The connection between the psyche and our physical health is one that I’m really curious about? I think this habit might be the reason for some chronic diseases. This is not a subject for a daily blog or one that can be dealt with in 2 minutes, so I will continue with it if you click either on the words ‘ghost feelings’, ‘GNM’ or ‘hanging healing’ (once they’re clickable).
While I was in Calgary – for much of November – the sun shone, the sky was blue and the weather was bright – although it was already snowy and freezing cold! I love that its always so bright – in fact there’s a lot about Calgary that I really like. I arrived there on the day after a stormy few days and the warmer weather lasted right until the last day or two of my visit.
I found the little car I’d been looking for – a sweet blue Beetle – and had a special baseplate fitted so that I could tow it behind my old motorhome. It’ll be great to be free to go out again without having to tote my whole house around!
My little granddaughter never whines and is a real delight to be with (kudos to her parents). Her Mom and I took her to Cross Iron Mall and had a great afternoon, marvelling at the highly polished wooden floors; checking out the clock built from old oil-well parts and enjoying the free music and lights show. Great! There were no crowds and shopping was easy. A pleasure! My idea of perfect Christmas shopping.
In fact, bit by bit, it feels like I’m ‘finding’ Christmas again? I don’t dread it like I did for a while. It had become a time of insane shopping and racking up debt and wrapping and cooking and generally becoming a slave to my large family for a month. Where was the time for me to sit and enjoy a Christmas tree and listen to carols? The ‘sting’ and intense dislike of the cold has gone for me too? It’s still not my favourite but it’s OK? I’m rediscovering the joy in winter.
Driving back to Victoria, I timed my dash over the mountains to try and avoid most of the snow and ice. As pulled into Revelstoke I just had to stop. Even though it was only about 7pm, it felt like midnight.
It was dark and all the big semi-trucks had been blaring their horns and flashing their lights at me for going too slow. I was done for the day, found a motel and checked in. As I was walking into town, every light for miles went out! Up in the mountains it’s so pitch dark without lights and it’s scary to walk where you have no idea of what might be right in front of you or around the corner. Oreo was terrified!
Eventually we found our way back to the car… And the only restaurant in town with a generator! The power cut lasted for hours but I had a nice supper, went to sleep in the dark and in the morning the power was back. When I opened the motel door I was horrified to see several inches of fresh snow. Yikes… I was hoping that I would be able to finish the mountain driving on dry roads – which a friend in Calgary had verified with weather forecasts and road-cams for me? Nice not to feel quite so alone when you’re a bit scared – thank you! Even if the information on the cams wasn’t that accurate?!
The drive was a bit slow but fine and Oreo was relieved to find a patch of grass to pee on again once we got below the snowline!
The next week was low key – lots of rest and sitting around the house. Thanks Mom! I didn’t dance that week but I readied my accounts so I could face my accountant. And I feel ready now for my last week or two in Victoria before the holidays and finally heading south. I’m looking forward to spending some pre-Christmas time with Thomas, his lovely girlfriend and my some of my closest friends.
Two things? I need one hubcap for my new/old 2000 Beetle – if anyone has one lying about, please let me know?! And I also need a graphic artist (cartoony illustrations for a children’s book) pretty badly? Finding either – or both! – would be great! –