Phishing for Marriage: Recently a counsellor from a government Children and Families Agency told me about a different kind of divorce trauma which seems to hurt both western men and women – and their children. It’s a fairly new phenomenon called ‘phishing’ where westerners are sought out and duped into marriage by a partner who desperately wants to leave their home. Westerners are convinced that the answer to their dreams – men and women of all ages – is hold by this person who has sought them out. I guess this is one of the risks of a new era of internet marriage, often resulting in heartbreak. Unfortunately there are often young children involved.
It’s also fairly common for westerners to travel to poor countries in search of a bride or groom. This seems a little more honest in that both parties are aware of what’s happening but can also results in hardship.
Finding a partner is certainly not easy.
Optimistic news is that, apparently, marriage between a caucasian and an oriental partner, raised in the same culture, seem to have a much higher rate of success than average. Good news is welcome!
I would love to hear of your experiences and share these with others going through a difficult time in their relationships. Perhaps seeing the pain involved, some couples will be persuaded to ‘try again’. Others will perhaps find possible solutions to a situation they find themselves in.
I hope this site will help you to get through the first few weeks or months and then give you the support, tools and information you need to soar like an eagle. Let me walk with you and help you find your wings? There are books and tips that have been helpful to others in your situation here. Eventually I hope you will be able to send me tips and articles about experiences that helped you to survive.
I’m excited to collect together all the helpful advice I’ve learned and share it with you. In my practice I’ve been successfully using Imago therapy by Dr Harville Hendrix; blended with NVC by Dr Marshall Rosenberg; and glued together with Trust Oriented Therapy (which I was blessed to experience personally with creator Mahmud Nestman in Vancouver BC).
ConnectionCue™ and RelationshipCue™ Cards: Over the years I have blended the therapies mentioned above, which I would like to share. I would also like to share the tools we’ve used in my office with you here. These colourful little cards make it possible to use these successful therapies if you live in a rural area, if affording a private counsellor is an issue for you or if you would prefer to try to work on your marriage at home. These cards also streamline, speed and simplify therapy with a counsellor.
My hope is that you will emerge from this experience stronger and more contented.