Trauma Counselling and ReBuildingYou
How Do I ReBuild a Broken Life? Can I Do It Myself? Where Do I Start?
Trauma counselling is essential to recover to fullest extent possible. Use the information and tools in this website with your counsellor – or Do-It-Yourself – when the unexpected hits and bounce back to good health.
Whether you are seriously injured in an accident or someone you love is diagnosed with cancer or you lose a spouse it’s incredibly important and helpful to attend to your emotions. (Even if it seems there aren’t any that need attending to.)
The answers you seek are deep inside of you and these tools will help tease them to the surface. Use help from a trauma counselling professional (or a good friend) to bring healing about.
Connecting What You Feel With What’s Happening In The Brain
A kind of emotional numbness – a zombie-like calmness – may come over you initially. It still feels overwhelming and terrible but this is nature’s way of protecting your core. This is your ‘survivor’ at work, flooding your system with natural chemicals and adrenalin that somewhat anaesthetize you and allow you to “carry on, somehow”.
When the amygdala ‘fires’ and takes over, the frontal cortex shuts down. In this way it cannot take away or slow down your much faster ancient brain by ‘over thinking’. It also means that you don’t have the thoughts/words to remember it. Talking about the incident later, in trauma counselling, people often shake their heads and wonder how on earth they did what they did: this is how.
After the initial shock, reality sets in. Often some form of temporary use of medication is helpful at this stage while you start to sort out the future. Often the feeling of anxiety is unbearable and you are sure that no-one else will be able to help. And in one sense you may be right: perhaps no-one else can help you put your life back together. Only you. With a lot of love and support. The truth is that the answers to every possible problem are buried in our heart and when we dig deeper than we ever thought possible, we will find them. At this stage, a good counsellor and/or social worker can help us to see what deep down we already know.
For the longest time life seemed a chaos of both physical and emotional challenges for me. But I was a difficult patient. I didn’t just want to heal, I wanted the very best healing possible. I would work on one aspect of life but lose ground in another. Eventually I realized that total recovery is a blend of all of it… And nothing less would do! You may feel the same?
Healing Requires Simultaneous Attention to your Physical, Emotional, Cognitive, Joy and Financial Needs.
Every time. All the time. At the Neuroscience Summit in 2017 it was officially confirmed that such integration was necessary for all successful healing.
With this website, I invite you to walk with me on your journey back to good health and design your healing, using what you read here as a guide.
Which Therapy or Trauma Counselling Is Best?
There are many great methods of therapy to build and re-build and to heal emotional trauma. The truth is that the key to our greatness lies deep within us, waiting to be coaxed out to lead the way.A good counsellor is a professional coaxer and supporter.
Particularly effective, I’ve found, are Imago Method, Non-Violent Communication or NVC, Trust Oriented Therapy or TOT (developed by Mahmud Nestman in Vancouver, BC, Canada) and EFT (tapping). Many other methods of counselling are excellent too.
Balanced Healing = Total Real Healing
Stage One includes finding someone you trust to be ‘in charge’ of each of the 5 areas of ‘us’ and to start the healing process. There is a page here devoted to that first stage. Eventually you’ll move on to Stage Two where life settles into a ‘new normal’ and most people take a well-earned break. You may still see your counsellor or social worker, but more emphasis will be on following through on your ‘plan’ for your post-trauma life.
Total healing may take many years and despite the belief in some circles that healing doesn’t happen after the first year or so, after 30 years there are still areas I am healing. Maybe school will be your focus – part of cognitive healing – taking care to keep up with the social / fun, exercise, nutrition and financial aspects of your life at the same time.
There are 5 parts to healing: Physical, Emotional, Cognitive, Joy and Financial. These parts are important to all healing, both purely emotional and physical. Trauma is trauma. There is an important emotional component in all trauma, which is well covered by NVC and the use of ConnectionCue™ cards.
Trauma is trauma. Our losses are personal to each of us and need to be addressed – in all 5 areas of our humanity.
If you find you need some help to chart out and plan your recovery, please email me or ask your social worker for help.
Never give up.
Best wishes and good luck!