Valentine’s Day Is Well Past

Texas Longhorn

It’s Sunday morning and I’m sitting with my feet up in the sun, outside my trailer, listening to the Corpus Christi symphony and the chatter of a couple of hundred blackbirds waiting for the crops to be planted so they can steal the seeds! The fields all around me have morphed from dry and brown two weeks ago to green and rippling in the breeze. Cows, horses, goats, donkeys and llamas bow their heads in Sunday reverence to this new growth – albeit mostly weeds – munching as much as they possibly can before it disappears into another 4 years of drought.


Waiting Patiently
Waiting Patiently

Last month my readership ( was up together with my income from Google ads and while still being nowhere near enough to sustain me (often under $20 a month?!) was very good (up 4500%! – but just for the one month it seems). I’m getting there, slowly.  I spend hundreds of hours with my websites, developing and writing them, with the dream of being able to support myself by sharing information and the experiences that I’ve gathered over the years. It helps me to make sense of the various events in my own life too.


Paws & Taws Community Center, Fulton Texas

These last couple of weeks have been ‘not easy’ compared to other months where everything I do can be effortless. I think this is reflected in the weather, which has been mostly cool and grey?  I’ve been trying to find some dancing in a small, country community – which is a bit like finding snow in Texas?! I couldn’t believe it when I met another Bahai locally who, with his wife, loves to dance!  We’re the only 2 Baha’is for miles around! I also discovered that the very week before we met I had missed not one but two dances – including one ballroom – locally!  So unfair! It seems that out of the city it really is who you know!


I still go back to visit with my dear friends in Aransas, Fulton and Rockport and dance there, mostly country line dances. Last week my friend Jan and I actually played teacher while our real teacher was in Dallas at a line dance convention! I love it because I know I can dance almost every dance – either with a partner or mostly in the line (which is more fun anyway!)  And of course I’m very excited about the upcoming dance cruise – with over 160 hours of all types of ballroom dancing offered in one week?! Yes! I can’t wait!


Drifters Linedancers, Aransas Texas

With Valentines Day in the middle of this month, I think it’s a good time for reflection on the subject of love and of marriage? At least I find I’ve been thinking about it a lot this month?! Perhaps it’s no accident that the ‘sweet nectar of love’ is there to help balance ‘real life’ with marriage and family? Hmmm… Interesting?


I’ve noticed that people’s behaviour after they’re married is often very different from when they’re just dating. Men and women. Men belch and fart and let the hairs in their ears grow and women potter around in their tatty housecoats with chipped fingernails and their hair in curlers. Female country-western singers seem to have endless tales of hardship and unfaithful husbands and their whiny-cowboy counterparts seem equally unhappy?  We owe it to country music to make more of an effort, stay attractive and behave decently so the songs can be more positive and upbeat.


On a serious note though I’ve heard several good radio broadcasts from Focus on the Family in the last few weeks and pondered a lot on what I have learned over the years, both personally and from my clients. I was very happy to find that the Bahai and Christian views of marriage – which have a considerably higher-than-average success rate – are very similar to my own work with Imago, NVC and TOT – at least I find them so. It seem the problems of child support and visitation – and the terrible effects of divorce on children – are the same wherever I go. Divorce can wreak havoc and cause worse misery than the death of a loved one and its effects can go on for years and spread out and affect so many people. Very sad.


Personally I like to keep spiritual and religious beliefs out of the marriage counselling I offer – unless couples already have well defined beliefs already and choose to discuss them.  My own view – born out by statistics (using Imago and NVC) – is that you can, very successfully, keep religion and excellent marriage separate. That makes my heart sing and very much meets my own needs for equality, fairness, persistence and autonomy. There’s also the promise of real joy and fulfillment for a husband, wife and children in every family, using Imago, NVC and my ConnectionCue and RelationshipCue cards (coming soon!)


Local farmers and ranchers here had been praying for rain for quite a while but now it’s here they seem to be complaining that there’s not enough sun?!  Which is just like their Canadian family who complain endlessly about the cold and then complain it’s too hot when the sun comes out! People are funny! Most of February has been pretty wet and grey and not too warm here in Texas and fairly mild although with plenty of snow back in Canada, I’m told?  I like where I am!  The buds are out on the trees in Victoria Texas and my friend Gill tells me the cherry blossoms are getting ready to burst out in Victoria, Canada! Yay, a new year! Valentines Day is past and spring has sprung!  Time for me to crawl out of my chrysalis and get back on my broom!  (I always thought my blues and the urge to ‘get away’ were due to months of bitter cold, short grey days and snow – but I still feel similar?)


We need your prayers: when I arrived in Aransas last week I learned that my good friend had left that morning to take her best friend back home (she’s a Winter Texan) to her family because they need to clarify a possible diagnosis of liver and lung cancer given to her just the day before. I didn’t feel like dancing and spent the evening sitting by the beach in my truck, pondering how fragile life – and love – can be. Conscious of my precarious state, I danced with a couple of smaller groups over the next 2 days, knowing there would be friends there who would help meet my needs and share a hug with me. I also needed a more gentle workout and I was glad I had both a chiropractic appointment and a massage scheduled during the week. By Friday I still felt fragile and preoccupied and Skyped and talked to family and friends. I pray daily for a good outcome.


Part of my discomfort is frustration, I think. Frustration because I believe that the way to heal from any disease needs very different treatment than is available in most hospitals. I share the basic beliefs of German New Medicine and Total Biology (as well as some other ‘alternative’ and nutritional medicines) and believe strongly that we need a blend of all these treatments in order to heal our bodies when they’re sick. Obviously I want everyone, especially those I love, to have great healthcare and to get well. Being a person used to taking action I find it next to impossible to sit by helplessly. Mainline ‘allopathic’ medicine doesn’t usually allow for a more holistic approach.


What I have seen work countless times with my own eyes – and experienced, over and over, with my own body and health – is such a different, totally new paradigm of medicine. Unfortunately once we are caught up in hospital treatment it’s often too late because life is too chaotic at that point to get one’s mind around such a different way of looking at disease. And generally people steer away from learning about ‘heavy’ medical issues and find so much else – anything else – to occupy their time until they’re confronted with an immediate health problem. All I can do is talk to those I care about – if they’re receptive – and pray that everything will be OK in the long run.

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