As children we are guided by our parents to be likeable and to make friends.
But who guides us when we grow up?
Here are 10 simple steps to help you ‘fit in’ (just sometimes!)
Make new friends after a move, age, long stay in hospital, adapt to disability or for any other reason.
Making friends is incredibly difficult when you feel shy. and here are 10 steps to help.
- First, look in the mirror. Are you clean (shower and hairwash), tidy (mend holes in clothes and brush your hair) and looking happy? Remember to smile! Also wash your hands, trim and clean your nails and carry a tissue or handkerchief (there’s nothing more off-putting than someone with dirty fingernails or constant sniffing!)
- When you meet someone, make eye contact and smile. We all need to feel important and worthwhile and they may feel as shy as you do.
- Another tip: Listen more than you talk. If you are nervous you might tend to run on in your conversation. Or jump from topic to topic! If people start to look bored it’s time to be quiet and give someone else a turn. Remember, a conversation is ‘two-way’!
- Ask questions: “What do you think?”. “How did you get involved?” “Where are you from?”
- Is there something you’re curious about or always wanted to learn? Enroll in a class. Learning something new will keep your brain young and make you a more interesting person to be with.
- Giving and receiving make us feel equally good and volunteering enables us to both give and to receive appreciation! Volunteer for something somewhere: neighbourhood, residence, church, etc
- Everyone needs to feel valued so be considerate, respectful and sincere to those you meet.
- What is one of the things you enjoy to do? Join a club and meet people with similar interests.
- Watch out for others who might be feeling just as you are: smile and say hello!
- Attend discussion groups on topics that interest you… Even topics that don’t, so you can be sure they are not of interest to you! You never know, you might find a passion where you least expect it! Even if you don’t say a word, people will come to recognize you and be more likely to talk to you… Or ask your opinion!
PRACTICE: You don’t need to do all these steps at once! Start with the easiest – or one that attracts you. Be gentle with yourself and be proud of the fact that you are willing to try. Take a deep breath, to a count of 3. Hold it for 3. Breathe out to a count of 4…
Attitudes are contagious: Is yours worth catching?