Here I will put links to books and other reading material that over a 20+ year career have been extremely useful to my clients and to other counsellors.
Over a 60+ year lifetime these materials have also been transformative for me. They enabled me to heal and thrive, after some very difficult times. Remember: every person does their best. Always. Including us now. Not ‘the best’ as we would judge it to be. But ‘their’ best. At the time. Which may have been just awful for us.
Being fair, just, loving and kind to others is essential. Of course. But… It’s human to make mistakes. At the time we make those mistakes, we are just trying to get by and grow. We’re doing our best.
Remember to practice self-compassion. And compassion for others.
It’s also good to remember that those mistakes, our mistakes, may have had a tsunami of an effect on others whose lives they have touched. As did the overwhelm we experienced when someone else’s ‘best’ hurt us. Compassion and self-compassion don’t give us permission to hurt others but rather encourage us – give us the courage – to be aware of the consequences of our actions on others.
20:20 is perfect vision. I was so excited to welcome in 2020. I was sure it would be the best year ever. Well, we know how that ended. Or in fact, it hasn’t ended.
It’s the perfect example of the need for NVC (Non Violent Communication) in all walks of life. At all times.
Today is an example of what can happen to even the most peaceful people who lose sight of compassion and kindness toward others. Globally. Everyone is just doing their best. But we need to ‘back up’ a little bit so that we can see beyond rhetoric and the information ‘told’ to us. Money is powerful indeed but I have to believe that at the end of the day, the power of humanity – and of NVC – is greater.
“Rebellion” on Netflix is an awful reminder of what can happen. The Irish are a wonderful people. Imagine a war – genuine hatred – between Vancouver and Vancouver Island. The distances and size of the countries is similar to Northern Ireland and England. Watch it. Think. That was just a few years ago. We are on the brink of something that dreadful happening again now.
We need to practice compassion and kindness. Even when we find it beyond our understanding and logic. Never lose your humanity. Never lose your love of life.